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Since I get to sleep all day tomorrow, and I'm up late doing nothing right now, I might as well update my blog so my roommate can stop bitching. (Love you Fahad !)

For anyone who actually read the news, or perezhilton.com, bullying (especially against gay teens) are a very serious issue right now. As usual, I got upset from reading all the articles because I almost always get angry from reading the news. People seriously need to understand that ignorance is NOT bliss, and your ignorance might result in someone else's tragedy.

I know to many people I come off as a big bully, and yes I admit that I am a very mean person who dislikes a LOT of things. However, once upon a time I was a surprisingly nice and caring little girl (I still am, but I just don't show it often). So here's my story..

I came to this country when I was 10, a new 5th grader who barely spoke a word of English and had no fear in the world. On my first day of school, I was introduced to a Chinese girl in my class by my teacher, she was an ABC and spoke very broken Mandarin. The teacher wanted her to help me in school and hoped that we would become the bestest of friends, and we all know that's usually not how it turned out. The girl was very friendly at first because she was intrigued, like we all are with new students. But soon she lost her interest and saw no fun in helping me, and decided to let her true colors come out. Even though I didn't understand much at the time, but I knew she was talking trash about me and making fun of me. I remember she would laugh at me when I did something wrong, and tried to make everyone else hate me. Luckily she wasn't very popular amongst others to begin with, so her evil little plans didn't work out so well. Being the only child of the family and never gotten picked on before, I decided to fight back and put her in her place. So one day while she was saying things that I couldn't understand again, I kicked the shit out of her shin. Of course she ran to the teacher crying, hoping that I would get some sort of punishment. Unfortunately her plan fails again because our teacher at the time really liked me since I was good in math. But ever since then, she tried everything she could to become my new bestfriend, which she failed miserably again. I was bestfriends with her former bff, whom she got into a cat fight with during lunch and pulled each other's hair out.

My parents always taught me to do good deeds, because karma will come back and bite you in the ass no matter what. Until this day I still believe in that, because I've experienced both good and bad karma. I'm the type to give up my seat whenever I can to someone else who's more in need; spare a dollar to someone who isn't as fortunate; and be as helpful and courteous as I can to everyone else. One of the things I value the most is manners, and another is consideration for others. Simply because I just think it makes everyone's life easier. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of people who agree with me, especially if you are in the Asian society. But we'll get into that another day, back to bullies.

I transferred out of the school few months later because my mom is a nomad who loves moving around for no legit reasons. That's when I got into a hell hole in Ozone Park. The students in my class have got to be the most racist kids I've ever met, they were very bitter at a young age. The group of "popular" kids not only treated me like a dummy, but also tormented a few others. The first person I became friends with in that school was a pretty Jewish girl who had really big eyes. They picked on her so much that one day she had a nervous breakdown during lunch, left school early and never came back. On the other hand, for the first time ever I rode the school bus, and that's when I met this little Indian girl. Nobody ever sits next to her because she had the stereotypical body scent. I remember seeing her getting on the bus every day and everyone would claim the seat next to them was taken. That's when I decided to do the right thing and let her sit next to me every day, until my mom decided to move yet again.

I remember before entering 6th grade, we were asked to write an essay about ourselves so our future teacher can get to know us a little better. My entire essay was about how I hated the school in Ozone Park and how everyone there were animals who needed to be locked up in a zoo. Luckily for me, I always stand up for myself when others put me down, but it doesn't mean that they didn't affect me in any way. Any form of bullying will leave a mark in the victim's mind, no matter what the outcome is.

A very close friend of mine was attacked by a group of our classmates for his sexual orientation. Yes, a group against one person, you sure are tough now. Here's the good news, yes you guys won and beat him up, but the bad news is, none of you will ever be as successful as he is because none of you have a heart as big as his. Hope your high school tough history can help you get through life, assholes.


And to the parents, especially Asian. Grades aren't everything, why don't you teach your kids some values and morals so he/she doesn't go out tormenting and ruining some other innocent person's life?


Last but not least, to the ones who think I'm a bully. If you still haven't realized by now then I'll tell you, every single person I don't like have done something to make me feel that way about them. I just don't think they deserve my kind side and I can see through most people's fake crap. I've never picked on someone who's weak and for no apparent reason. You might not like what I have to say but I speak the truth, and pretending to be nice and sweet was so middle school. Sorry but I don't feel the need to be popular and fit in anymore. The people I despise are the kind that are simply a waste of space. So get your facts straight before you want to open your mouth, because I always make sure I do that first. Like what I said on my status once, I rather be hated for being real, than to hate myself for being fake.

*By the way, to my #1 fan who went out of her way to create a reddit account just to share my blog and hoped that people would agree with her thoughts, maybe YOU should get to know me better before you want to point fingers and judge. I really don't care what you think of me and my blog, especially because I didn't force you to read it. This is a personal space where I share my opinions and of course some of it is going to be biased. So if you really think that "this is the most disturbing blog I've ever read", then please, build up your tolerance before you come here. This is not for the faint of heart or people who are too sensitive, and I'm not the type that pretends to be the nicest and sweetest person ever so people can like me. If you can't handle it, then get the fuck out of here :]