Since I get to sleep all day tomorrow, and I'm up late doing nothing right now, I might as well update my blog so my roommate can stop bitching. (Love you Fahad !)
For anyone who actually read the news, or perezhilton.com, bullying (especially against gay teens) are a very serious issue right now. As usual, I got upset from reading all the articles because I almost always get angry from reading the news. People seriously need to understand that ignorance is NOT bliss, and your ignorance might result in someone else's tragedy.
I know to many people I come off as a big bully, and yes I admit that I am a very mean person who dislikes a LOT of things. However, once upon a time I was a surprisingly nice and caring little girl (I still am, but I just don't show it often). So here's my story..
I came to this country when I was 10, a new 5th grader who barely spoke a word of English and had no fear in the world. On my first day of school, I was introduced to a Chinese girl in my class by my teacher, she was an ABC and spoke very broken Mandarin. The teacher wanted her to help me in school and hoped that we would become the bestest of friends, and we all know that's usually not how it turned out. The girl was very friendly at first because she was intrigued, like we all are with new students. But soon she lost her interest and saw no fun in helping me, and decided to let her true colors come out. Even though I didn't understand much at the time, but I knew she was talking trash about me and making fun of me. I remember she would laugh at me when I did something wrong, and tried to make everyone else hate me. Luckily she wasn't very popular amongst others to begin with, so her evil little plans didn't work out so well. Being the only child of the family and never gotten picked on before, I decided to fight back and put her in her place. So one day while she was saying things that I couldn't understand again, I kicked the shit out of her shin. Of course she ran to the teacher crying, hoping that I would get some sort of punishment. Unfortunately her plan fails again because our teacher at the time really liked me since I was good in math. But ever since then, she tried everything she could to become my new bestfriend, which she failed miserably again. I was bestfriends with her former bff, whom she got into a cat fight with during lunch and pulled each other's hair out.
My parents always taught me to do good deeds, because karma will come back and bite you in the ass no matter what. Until this day I still believe in that, because I've experienced both good and bad karma. I'm the type to give up my seat whenever I can to someone else who's more in need; spare a dollar to someone who isn't as fortunate; and be as helpful and courteous as I can to everyone else. One of the things I value the most is manners, and another is consideration for others. Simply because I just think it makes everyone's life easier. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of people who agree with me, especially if you are in the Asian society. But we'll get into that another day, back to bullies.
I transferred out of the school few months later because my mom is a nomad who loves moving around for no legit reasons. That's when I got into a hell hole in Ozone Park. The students in my class have got to be the most racist kids I've ever met, they were very bitter at a young age. The group of "popular" kids not only treated me like a dummy, but also tormented a few others. The first person I became friends with in that school was a pretty Jewish girl who had really big eyes. They picked on her so much that one day she had a nervous breakdown during lunch, left school early and never came back. On the other hand, for the first time ever I rode the school bus, and that's when I met this little Indian girl. Nobody ever sits next to her because she had the stereotypical body scent. I remember seeing her getting on the bus every day and everyone would claim the seat next to them was taken. That's when I decided to do the right thing and let her sit next to me every day, until my mom decided to move yet again.
I remember before entering 6th grade, we were asked to write an essay about ourselves so our future teacher can get to know us a little better. My entire essay was about how I hated the school in Ozone Park and how everyone there were animals who needed to be locked up in a zoo. Luckily for me, I always stand up for myself when others put me down, but it doesn't mean that they didn't affect me in any way. Any form of bullying will leave a mark in the victim's mind, no matter what the outcome is.
A very close friend of mine was attacked by a group of our classmates for his sexual orientation. Yes, a group against one person, you sure are tough now. Here's the good news, yes you guys won and beat him up, but the bad news is, none of you will ever be as successful as he is because none of you have a heart as big as his. Hope your high school tough history can help you get through life, assholes.
And to the parents, especially Asian. Grades aren't everything, why don't you teach your kids some values and morals so he/she doesn't go out tormenting and ruining some other innocent person's life?
Last but not least, to the ones who think I'm a bully. If you still haven't realized by now then I'll tell you, every single person I don't like have done something to make me feel that way about them. I just don't think they deserve my kind side and I can see through most people's fake crap. I've never picked on someone who's weak and for no apparent reason. You might not like what I have to say but I speak the truth, and pretending to be nice and sweet was so middle school. Sorry but I don't feel the need to be popular and fit in anymore. The people I despise are the kind that are simply a waste of space. So get your facts straight before you want to open your mouth, because I always make sure I do that first. Like what I said on my status once, I rather be hated for being real, than to hate myself for being fake.
*By the way, to my #1 fan who went out of her way to create a reddit account just to share my blog and hoped that people would agree with her thoughts, maybe YOU should get to know me better before you want to point fingers and judge. I really don't care what you think of me and my blog, especially because I didn't force you to read it. This is a personal space where I share my opinions and of course some of it is going to be biased. So if you really think that "this is the most disturbing blog I've ever read", then please, build up your tolerance before you come here. This is not for the faint of heart or people who are too sensitive, and I'm not the type that pretends to be the nicest and sweetest person ever so people can like me. If you can't handle it, then get the fuck out of here :]
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Old vs. New Part II
Reason 2: We had AsianXO.
In the age of facebook, people can pretty much learn everything you need to know about someone through their profile, unless they refused to add you as a friend and their privacy setting blocked everything. But if you trace a few years back, there was a gem in the world wide web called AsianXO. It's a rating site where tweens (and occasionally old men who digged jailbaits) post up their pictures and have others rate them on at 0 to 10 scale. There was a top 10 of the hottest girls and boys, mostly occupied by actual attractive people, even though occasionally a few ogres end up on the chart here and there. AsianXO was a place where people revealed their true nature, best friends would give each other 0s to make their average go down, and others would beg everyone they can think of to give them 10s.
Asians started on the whole fake complimenting business before myspace even happened. I remember someone somehow discovered the super secretive stats page where you can see what score everyone gave you, and that was when all the ugly truth came out.
For example: "omg ma godsis left me a comment sayin how sexii i am buh she actualli gave me a 0 !!"
Or: "yo wdf man i thought you was ma n****, y da fuck did you give me a 0 son?! meet me in da park aftaschool 2mrw imma fuck yo ass up."
Photoshop wasn't very popular back then because most of us didn't know about torrents or just couldn't afford the software. Therefore many people mastered the art of background lighting, blurring their webcam picture to the point where you can barely see their face, or simply block their most insecure feature. I remember there was this one girl who had really pretty eyes, but her nose was forever covered by either her hand or a piece of paper where she wrote some shout-out to some random person she met on the site. Then one day I saw her in person and I totally understood why - girl had a pig nose. Most others just had a lamp shining in their face which made it nearly impossible to make out their features, thanks to their low-resolution webcams.
AsianXO, along with Xanga and Myspace, breeded a new generation of "social climbers". I recall hearing numerous stories from my friends about how a few popularity-craving individuals would randomly go up to them in the park or on the streets and asked: "OMG AREN'T YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH FROM AXO/XANGA/MYSPACE?!". These people had no shame, and they did not get the clue when they were greeted with the cold shoulder. Anyone who suffered these attacks were bombarded by friend requests once they got home, followed by comments like: "heyy it was nice meeting you today! hope to see you again soon, muah<3" Which left the victim wondering "wtf I didn't even talk to this person, why is he/she acting like they're my new best friend?"
Over time AsianXO eventually died down because people started meeting up in person and realized that pictures are deceiving. Also because it got ridiculous and people started creating AXO crews and guilds that were completely pointless. After seeing that most of its users grew out of it, AXO made a sad attempt by creating AXO2, which failed miserably. I'm not sure when did AXO disappear completely, but it was fun while it lasted it, and still fun to reminisce about.
R.I.P AsianXO.
In the age of facebook, people can pretty much learn everything you need to know about someone through their profile, unless they refused to add you as a friend and their privacy setting blocked everything. But if you trace a few years back, there was a gem in the world wide web called AsianXO. It's a rating site where tweens (and occasionally old men who digged jailbaits) post up their pictures and have others rate them on at 0 to 10 scale. There was a top 10 of the hottest girls and boys, mostly occupied by actual attractive people, even though occasionally a few ogres end up on the chart here and there. AsianXO was a place where people revealed their true nature, best friends would give each other 0s to make their average go down, and others would beg everyone they can think of to give them 10s.
Asians started on the whole fake complimenting business before myspace even happened. I remember someone somehow discovered the super secretive stats page where you can see what score everyone gave you, and that was when all the ugly truth came out.
For example: "omg ma godsis left me a comment sayin how sexii i am buh she actualli gave me a 0 !!"
Or: "yo wdf man i thought you was ma n****, y da fuck did you give me a 0 son?! meet me in da park aftaschool 2mrw imma fuck yo ass up."
Photoshop wasn't very popular back then because most of us didn't know about torrents or just couldn't afford the software. Therefore many people mastered the art of background lighting, blurring their webcam picture to the point where you can barely see their face, or simply block their most insecure feature. I remember there was this one girl who had really pretty eyes, but her nose was forever covered by either her hand or a piece of paper where she wrote some shout-out to some random person she met on the site. Then one day I saw her in person and I totally understood why - girl had a pig nose. Most others just had a lamp shining in their face which made it nearly impossible to make out their features, thanks to their low-resolution webcams.
AsianXO, along with Xanga and Myspace, breeded a new generation of "social climbers". I recall hearing numerous stories from my friends about how a few popularity-craving individuals would randomly go up to them in the park or on the streets and asked: "OMG AREN'T YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH FROM AXO/XANGA/MYSPACE?!". These people had no shame, and they did not get the clue when they were greeted with the cold shoulder. Anyone who suffered these attacks were bombarded by friend requests once they got home, followed by comments like: "heyy it was nice meeting you today! hope to see you again soon, muah<3" Which left the victim wondering "wtf I didn't even talk to this person, why is he/she acting like they're my new best friend?"
Over time AsianXO eventually died down because people started meeting up in person and realized that pictures are deceiving. Also because it got ridiculous and people started creating AXO crews and guilds that were completely pointless. After seeing that most of its users grew out of it, AXO made a sad attempt by creating AXO2, which failed miserably. I'm not sure when did AXO disappear completely, but it was fun while it lasted it, and still fun to reminisce about.
R.I.P AsianXO.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Old vs. New. Part I
Some people might think teenagers today have it much better than we did, but I beg to differ. Therefore I'm going to write down the reasons for my opinion before all the years of alcohol consumption catches up to me and wipe out my memory completely.
Reason 1: We were able to learn htmls (even though it was kind of forced).
Back when I was a teenager, we didn't have twitter and facebook didn't get popular until I was already past the age of consent. First there was xanga, and along came myspace, which had more creepers than craigslist. Both sites required some knowledge of html if you wanted your home page to look cool, and the more codes you know, the better your page will be compared to your mortal enemy's. Xanga was at its peak when I was in middle school, pretty much everyone had one, including the ones who were still running on 56k or the ones who didn't even have internet at home and had to update theirs in the public library. We designed layouts and changed them regularly, and this helped a lot of us become photoshop/paintshop&html amateurs. In those days if you copied someone else's layout there was a possibility of cyber-beef, which results in a long list of your enemy's hateful friends who gave you 0 eprops + mindless threats.
Then there was myspace.
I think one of the major advantages myspace had over xanga was the amount of photos you were able to upload onto your profile. You weren't able to do that on xanga unless you had Xanga Premium or an external picture hosting site. A classic myspace user is someone who uploads a shitload of pictures of themselves, usually taken in various myspace angles, and probably in the bathroom, for all of their myspace friends to leave mind deceiving fake complimenting comments on. If you are naturally attractive, you might start believing that you are drop dead gorgeous. For the unlucky ones who were born with the faces only a mother would love, they were able to reboot by becoming "emo", which was just the excuse for now sporting hair that covered up half of their face (and also heavy sharpee makeup). Overall, myspace is great tool for gaining self-esteem.
However, in order to use both sites efficiently, you were required to be a html pro (in teen standards). Because chances are, nobody would want you to be your friend if your profile was in default layout.
Oh yea, let's not forget how many relationships and friendships were broken up by that little box called top 8 friends on myspace. Tears and blood were shed over those spots..Same thing goes for xanga eprops, I'm sure you've got into fights with your best friend numerous times because they refused to give you your daily props.
Reason 1: We were able to learn htmls (even though it was kind of forced).
Back when I was a teenager, we didn't have twitter and facebook didn't get popular until I was already past the age of consent. First there was xanga, and along came myspace, which had more creepers than craigslist. Both sites required some knowledge of html if you wanted your home page to look cool, and the more codes you know, the better your page will be compared to your mortal enemy's. Xanga was at its peak when I was in middle school, pretty much everyone had one, including the ones who were still running on 56k or the ones who didn't even have internet at home and had to update theirs in the public library. We designed layouts and changed them regularly, and this helped a lot of us become photoshop/paintshop&html amateurs. In those days if you copied someone else's layout there was a possibility of cyber-beef, which results in a long list of your enemy's hateful friends who gave you 0 eprops + mindless threats.
Then there was myspace.
I think one of the major advantages myspace had over xanga was the amount of photos you were able to upload onto your profile. You weren't able to do that on xanga unless you had Xanga Premium or an external picture hosting site. A classic myspace user is someone who uploads a shitload of pictures of themselves, usually taken in various myspace angles, and probably in the bathroom, for all of their myspace friends to leave mind deceiving fake complimenting comments on. If you are naturally attractive, you might start believing that you are drop dead gorgeous. For the unlucky ones who were born with the faces only a mother would love, they were able to reboot by becoming "emo", which was just the excuse for now sporting hair that covered up half of their face (and also heavy sharpee makeup). Overall, myspace is great tool for gaining self-esteem.
However, in order to use both sites efficiently, you were required to be a html pro (in teen standards). Because chances are, nobody would want you to be your friend if your profile was in default layout.
Oh yea, let's not forget how many relationships and friendships were broken up by that little box called top 8 friends on myspace. Tears and blood were shed over those spots..Same thing goes for xanga eprops, I'm sure you've got into fights with your best friend numerous times because they refused to give you your daily props.
It's okay, I got you.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
So Long, Slut !
Every friday night my boyfriend and I have Jersey Shore night, since neither of us ever watch it on Thursdays. Last night we watched the epic episode featuring the ownage of the Staten Island doorknob, and we loved every single moment of it. Angelina finally gets put into her place after talking soooooo much shit the entire season. When you can turn a whole household against you, then it's really your problem, not theirs. Usually it's girls vs. girls, but when the guys don't even like you then it's about time you get a reality check and learn that there's something wrong with you.
Anyways, the fight between Snookie&the Whore wasn't as good as I expected, there weren't much going on except for hair pulling and just them two all tangled up together. Snookie should've just punched her in the face when she walked over to her instead of whatever she was doing that I couldn't really see. It definitely would've been more enjoyable if JWoww was the one doing the beating, because Snookie didn't really have an upper hand. Especially during round 2 when the wild boar charged at her at full force. I still loved the part where Snookie picked up the bowl of pebbles though, that was so cute! Honestly if I was Angelina, I would never show my face again after this episode aired because it's pure embarrassment. But then again, the girl has no shame..She needs stop screaming about everyone being fake because she's the most two-faced bitch on the show, and the only people who can be considered fake are Ronnie&Sammie a.k.a the roid-rage gorilla and the mentally challenged doormat. Silly Angelina, did you really think these two would back you up? Sammie isn't the "sweetest" bitch you'll ever meet, she's actually the dumbest. And for Ronnie, unless you are sucking his dick and letting him tongue others then come home to you at night, he's not gonna do shit for you.
Hope we never see you again, thank God they replaced you for season 3.
Anyways, the fight between Snookie&the Whore wasn't as good as I expected, there weren't much going on except for hair pulling and just them two all tangled up together. Snookie should've just punched her in the face when she walked over to her instead of whatever she was doing that I couldn't really see. It definitely would've been more enjoyable if JWoww was the one doing the beating, because Snookie didn't really have an upper hand. Especially during round 2 when the wild boar charged at her at full force. I still loved the part where Snookie picked up the bowl of pebbles though, that was so cute! Honestly if I was Angelina, I would never show my face again after this episode aired because it's pure embarrassment. But then again, the girl has no shame..She needs stop screaming about everyone being fake because she's the most two-faced bitch on the show, and the only people who can be considered fake are Ronnie&Sammie a.k.a the roid-rage gorilla and the mentally challenged doormat. Silly Angelina, did you really think these two would back you up? Sammie isn't the "sweetest" bitch you'll ever meet, she's actually the dumbest. And for Ronnie, unless you are sucking his dick and letting him tongue others then come home to you at night, he's not gonna do shit for you.
Yay, the first picture I made for my blog!
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