Reality Check - Blue Valentine.

How many people in real life actually end up finding their Prince Charming - the guy who comes from a good family, is well educated, wealthy, and has a heart of gold? And even if they do, what are the chances that they are going to be "happily ever after"? As if no obstacles will ever meet them in life and they will forever be in love.

I don't believe in fairytales, that's why I don't like chick flicks.

"Blue Valentine" was like cold reality handed to you on a plate, and what goes on in this movie is more likely to happen than any of the bullshit in romantic comedies. In real life, we probably won't find "the One", and even if we did, chances are he/she isn't actually going to be the person we end up marrying. Why? Because we are human, and we never realize what we had until it's gone, and you're never going to realize that person was "the One" until they are gone, or when you're able to compare them to the next person. Plus, love isn't forever. People are falling out of love every day, it happens way more often than you think. Think of all the couples that are getting a divorce, or maybe even your own parents. Most of them were all deep in love once upon a time, but look at them now.

Love really isn't something that people and the media hyped it up to be. It's not as sacred, everlasting, and pure as you think it is. It might just be a label that we slapped on to justify our own selfish desires..

Coming of Age

It's been a really long time..not going to lie, I totally forgot about my blog.

I realized over the years, I've changed a lot. Generally in a positive maturing way, besides the part where I got angrier and angrier as I got older. I stopped drinking heavily on the weekly basis, stopped partying (although I miss that from time to time), pretty much quit smoking, and stopped buying all sorts of cute useless things like notebooks and pens I'm never going to use.

I started partying/drinking/smoking at a young age. To be specific, I started drinking beer since 5 with my Dad. He likes to drink beer and liquor while eating, and a lot of the times we just drink together. So instead of washing my food down with soda or water during dinner, I had beer or rice wine. My love&hate relationship with alcohol didn't start until 9th grade, at the height of peer pressure and the general teenage false impression that alcohol and nicotine consumption were "cool". Unfortunately a lot of people my age still feel that way today, grow out of it already. I did not know my limit when I was 14, and ended up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. I could've died that night, but that didn't stop me from drinking later on. I've done so many stupid things while wasted, and let quite a few people see me at my worst moments. I've fell down an entire staircase, threw up all over the place, flashed people involuntarily, and allowed people to take advantage of me. Yet I still went out to drink regularly, and I wasn't drinking to have fun, I was drinking to get smashed.

It wasn't until I started working in a bar, that I realized drinking just wasn't "fun" anymore. I no longer enjoy stumbling all over the place, throwing up, or acting like a fool, and honestly, there's no amount of "fun" worth having when you have to embarrass yourself like that in public. These days I still enjoy having a drink or two when I go out to eat, but I no longer binge drink like a teenager because I'm not looking to get wasted. I'm in my 20s, and I rather carry myself like a classy woman, not a hormonal young hot mess that's in desperate need of male attention.

I started partying/clubbing when I was 16. We used to throw our own parties, then I moved on to clubbing in the city every weekend. I always managed to find my way to the city no matter where I lived, whether it was Long Island, Jersey, or Staten Island. I didn't seem to mind walking two miles in my heels just to get to a NJ Transit station, or having to pay $25 for a cab ride home everytime I got off the Staten Island ferry - now that's dedication. I actually never had a fake ID for 21+ parties, and I didn't even have an ID for 18+ parties until I was 19. I don't really remember how I always managed to get in, but I did. I honestly think the reason why I stopped partying is because I got into a relationship, and I strongly believe it's NOT okay to go to a club without your boyfriend and let other guys rub their genitals all over you. But I also think it's because I'm just really lazy now, and I can't keep up like I used to because my age is getting to me (haha). So pretty much when everyone else started going clubbing, I stopped.

Cigarettes and I became friends in middle school, but I didn't really start until sophomore year of high school. It's just such an expensive habit nowadays, and I refuse to spend $11 on a pack when I can get a carton for $16 in duty-free shops.

I used to dress a lot more revealing when I was younger, but over the years I started covering up more and more because I came to the realization that having all of your goods hanging out just isn't attractive. I no longer want guys to pay attention to me for the wrong reasons, or leave an impression that I'm some sort of skank that they don't need to take seriously. If you don't even respect yourself, how do you expect others to do so? To me, modesty is much more appealing than promiscuity, and yes there is a difference between "confident" and straight up "trashy". A girl looks confident and sexy when she's wearing a dress that has an appropriate length and cut, not someone whose breasts are completely hanging out and pulled her shirt down long enough so it can barely pass as a "dress". Ladies, we are getting old, it's about time you learn what sophistication is, because I rather give off the girlfriend/wife material image than a perfect-one-night-stand-participant one.

Remember, trashy is NEVER classy, but if you prefer the first one, then best of luck to you.

You Shall Be Banished.

I got selfish and wrote about fashion&beauty stuff the last two posts, and some readers have complained that they rather see me bitching than talk about nails. Therefore, it's time for me to sharpen my claws and bring back the original purpose of this blog. Don't worry guys, I'm back.

Today, let's talk about celebrities(and wanna bes) that needs to stay in 2010 and hopefully never appear again in future years. The ones that needs to disappear and be BANISHED from the media and our sights. The ones that seriously need to go away.

1. Sarah Palin&her offsprings, and their baby daddy.

What exactly is Sarah Palin now? I mean I know she's a politician and a failed vice-president candidate, but now she's got so many identities I don't even know what she is anymore. Reality star? Stage mom? Delusional governor who thinks she will be the next president? But the one thing I do know is, all of these identities have one thing in common - she's extremely obnoxious. To me, she's a disgrace to the female gender because she's an absolutely horrible role model, and an equally horrible example of a modern intellectual woman. The fact that she thought our ally was NORTH Korea is just simply unacceptable, that's something you just can't possibly mix up. I guess she thought Kim Jong-Il was the dictator of South Korea all along. Oh yea, she's a pretty terrible mother too. Same thing goes to her daughter Bristol and on-again-off-again baby daddy Levi. Oh, and her younger daughter Willow who's involved in a scandal lately for using homophobic slurs towards someone on Facebook. What a big merry family, definitely a strong opponent against the Cyrus&Lohan families in the running of "America's Trashiest Family" title.

Like Barbara Bush said, Sarah Palin is very happy in Alaska, and she hopes she stays there. Yes, that would make all of us in mainland much merrier. So please, Mrs. Palin, grab your DWTS daughter, and go back to where you belong.

Imagine if Sarah Palin actually got elected? -Shivers-

2. The Lohans

This picture must be ancient..

I don't know which member of this family annoys me more. Lindsay is a mess, but at least she's finally progressing in rehab now, or so it seems to be. I feel bad for her because she's born to such unqualified parents, who does nothing but milk their children's fame as much as they can. I've always doubted the love Dina and Michael for their kids, because I simply don't see it. All these two ever do is fame-whore and sell details of their child's private life for money. Also the fact that Dina parties with Lindsay is probably one of the major causes of what she is today. Funny thing is this lady even came out with a parenting book, like seriously? Act your age and stop clubbing with your daughter, and stop going on talk shows the morning after your daughter gets arrested or put into rehab. I honestly don't think Lindsay will ever bounce back like Britney because she's less fortunate to have parents who actually take their responsibilities.

I know a lot of people, like me, who are so sick of seeing Lindsay on the news when there are much more important things going on in the world that we should be worrying about. I also know a lot of people who are disgusted by the joke of a sentence that she received considering the severity of her crime. If a normal citizen did the same things she did, they'll probably get at least a year. But I guess special treatment for the special lady right?

&What's with the younger daughter looking like she's 30 when she's 16? Is she going to get botox when she's 20? Just go away.

3. Miley Cyrus

Miley, Miley, Miley..You just can't wait 'til you are 18 can't you.

I think Miley is a cute girl, but that's pretty much it. She has such an annoying personality that just makes it impossible for me to like her. According to Ms. Miley, she's a straight up hardcore country rocker and she's just too good for pop songs. Wait, isn't she a pop singer? Oh but then she also says her songs aren't written by her and she just sings them because she has to, which also contradicts with her next statement where she claims her music isn't "shallow" like all the other pop songs out there. She's above Jay Z, Britney, and every other shallow pop musicians in the industry, which is why she never listens to any of these inferior fellows' songs. All hail Queen Miley.

I'm 21 and I've never taken a picture where I'm pulling my shirt down just so everyone can see my bra, I feel like such a prude now.

From posing nude at the ripe age of 15 to wearing outfits that get more and more revealing each day, I think she might just turn out to be worse than Lindsay Lohan. All these Disney teen stars are such closeted freaks, they sure know how to pick them.

4. Justin Bieber

I am proud to say I am not a victim of Bieber-Fever. This kid has talent, but I can't stand his voice. I also don't find him crazy-cute like all the tween girls do. To me he's just an overrated kid who still has a lot to improve, especially his attitude. His career isn't going to last very long if he continues to be his cocky bratty self, therefore I'll keep my fingers crossed.

5. Taylor Momsen

I hate her and her character on Gossip Girl equally. Isn't she banished by Blair? Freaking disappear already! Oh Taylor, you are just so edgy, so badass, so above it all, can you please just go back to your punk rock edgy planet and spare us the misery of your never-ending raccoon eyes and ho-rrific outfits? Why are these young girls so full of themselves these days? Whatever happened to being humble?

6. The Ever-Expanding List of Cheating Celebrity Husbands

I guess having a gorgeous wife just isn't enough for these douchebags. Having just one mistress also isn't enough either. Shame on you all!

Let's Get Nasty.

As the days get colder, my nose's struggle to breathe gets tougher. I never adjust to cold weather well, and probably never will. My dream is to live in 80+ degrees every day, and anything below 60 is considered winter for me. Therefore fall is pretty much non-existant in my books, but that doesn't stop my boots&sweaters craze. My boots hunger was satisfied by a great pair of Pour La Victoire Malorie, and hopefully I'll be getting a new pair of Uggs before the 10 degrees weather hits. So now I have to find sweaters..


I'm a big fan of Nasty Gal, even though I never ordered anything from there yet. Maybe it's because of the pretty skinny models with bold eyebrows and super long stems, or maybe because it's like UO's twin, but nastier and prettier (and slightly cheaper, occasionally). Urban Outfitters is notorious for making their models look far less attractive than they actually are in real life, or just using unattractive models in general. If you compare Rachel Ballinger's Bloomingdale's ads to the ones in UO, it's kind of hard to believe they are the same person, thanks to the gloomy, lazy vibe UO's going for. Nasty Gal has the same few pretty girls who have the ability of making ugly clothes look better so you get tricked into buying them, classic marketing.

I think I've gotten over my floral obsession, now that summer's over. So now it's all about leopard prints and sequins, and both can easily look very tacky. I'm proud of myself for adding so many new elements to my closet this year and experimenting with patterns instead of sticking to my old solid-color only rule.

Nasty Gal vs. Urban Outfitters

1. Lucca Couture's Sequin Sweatshirt

This one really didn't catch my eyes when I was browsing at UO, but it was a completely different story when I saw it on NG. By the way, UO also stated in the description that this is one of the limited edition items that's only available at their store, fail.

2. BB Dakota Corning Boyfriend Knit

I always thought BB Dakota's overpriced, and I stand behind my opinion. Even though it looks thin and unable to keep me warm, but I still want it.

3. Ribbed Wool Sweater

Mmmm, wool...I like anything wool.

3. Brandy&Melville Rother Sweater

Keep it safe or go wild ?

Now time to work extra hard to make that money so I can have a billion sweaters.

Polish-Crazed.

I've been nail polish crazy for the past few days, so I decided to make a list of the polishes that I want. Even though I'm always extremely lazy to re-do my nails regardless of how ridiculous chipped they are, but it doesn't stop me from wanting my nails to be covered in all these beautiful colors. I'm not a fan of super girly or neon colors, and my narcissistic self believes that my selection of nail colors always fall under the category of being chic.

Luckily, one of my best features are my hands, and I'm not being conceited here because I get compliments every time I go to a nail salon. My mom also suggested once that I should become a hand model, and my dad used to always say "you have the perfect beautiful hands for a pianist, but you failed". I also have this nail OCD where I'm constantly starring at my nails and picking flaws, they just need to be in a perfect shape and all corners/lengths have to be the same. Which is why I always carry a nail filer with me and I just file away whenever I get the chance.

Oh yeah, I also don't like nail art, especially the ones that involve endless rhinestones/crystals/bow ties/flowers. I like my nails in one simple solid shade (or classic french), perfectly filed, and without the shimmer.

How am I going to do my dishes with all these things on my nails ?

1. OPI Kreme de la Kremlin.

I originally wanted the Chanel 491 Rose Confidentiel, but then I found the OPI dupe. I don't see why I should spend $30 on the Chanel one, and I've always been a fan of OPI. In fact I only buy OPI polishes :] I've always loved dusty rosey colors, and I liked this one the most out of all the similar swatches.

2. RBL Bruised.

I'm interested in trying a reddish brown shade, perfect for the cold seasons. I've never used RBL since I'm a polish noob, but the reviews seem to be great and its price is up there with designer brands.

3. RBL Grunge

I think this might just be the exact gray-taupe color I've been searching for, especially because time and time again I kept on picking up ones that are just too purple.

4. Lancôme Le Gris L'Wren.

This one is actually more blue than gray, the picture doesn't do the shade much justice. However, I'm not too sure about the metallic part. Which leads me to...

5. YSL Stormy Grey

I like, but only the nails.

Insert Caption Here.

Since I get to sleep all day tomorrow, and I'm up late doing nothing right now, I might as well update my blog so my roommate can stop bitching. (Love you Fahad !)

For anyone who actually read the news, or perezhilton.com, bullying (especially against gay teens) are a very serious issue right now. As usual, I got upset from reading all the articles because I almost always get angry from reading the news. People seriously need to understand that ignorance is NOT bliss, and your ignorance might result in someone else's tragedy.

I know to many people I come off as a big bully, and yes I admit that I am a very mean person who dislikes a LOT of things. However, once upon a time I was a surprisingly nice and caring little girl (I still am, but I just don't show it often). So here's my story..

I came to this country when I was 10, a new 5th grader who barely spoke a word of English and had no fear in the world. On my first day of school, I was introduced to a Chinese girl in my class by my teacher, she was an ABC and spoke very broken Mandarin. The teacher wanted her to help me in school and hoped that we would become the bestest of friends, and we all know that's usually not how it turned out. The girl was very friendly at first because she was intrigued, like we all are with new students. But soon she lost her interest and saw no fun in helping me, and decided to let her true colors come out. Even though I didn't understand much at the time, but I knew she was talking trash about me and making fun of me. I remember she would laugh at me when I did something wrong, and tried to make everyone else hate me. Luckily she wasn't very popular amongst others to begin with, so her evil little plans didn't work out so well. Being the only child of the family and never gotten picked on before, I decided to fight back and put her in her place. So one day while she was saying things that I couldn't understand again, I kicked the shit out of her shin. Of course she ran to the teacher crying, hoping that I would get some sort of punishment. Unfortunately her plan fails again because our teacher at the time really liked me since I was good in math. But ever since then, she tried everything she could to become my new bestfriend, which she failed miserably again. I was bestfriends with her former bff, whom she got into a cat fight with during lunch and pulled each other's hair out.

My parents always taught me to do good deeds, because karma will come back and bite you in the ass no matter what. Until this day I still believe in that, because I've experienced both good and bad karma. I'm the type to give up my seat whenever I can to someone else who's more in need; spare a dollar to someone who isn't as fortunate; and be as helpful and courteous as I can to everyone else. One of the things I value the most is manners, and another is consideration for others. Simply because I just think it makes everyone's life easier. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of people who agree with me, especially if you are in the Asian society. But we'll get into that another day, back to bullies.

I transferred out of the school few months later because my mom is a nomad who loves moving around for no legit reasons. That's when I got into a hell hole in Ozone Park. The students in my class have got to be the most racist kids I've ever met, they were very bitter at a young age. The group of "popular" kids not only treated me like a dummy, but also tormented a few others. The first person I became friends with in that school was a pretty Jewish girl who had really big eyes. They picked on her so much that one day she had a nervous breakdown during lunch, left school early and never came back. On the other hand, for the first time ever I rode the school bus, and that's when I met this little Indian girl. Nobody ever sits next to her because she had the stereotypical body scent. I remember seeing her getting on the bus every day and everyone would claim the seat next to them was taken. That's when I decided to do the right thing and let her sit next to me every day, until my mom decided to move yet again.

I remember before entering 6th grade, we were asked to write an essay about ourselves so our future teacher can get to know us a little better. My entire essay was about how I hated the school in Ozone Park and how everyone there were animals who needed to be locked up in a zoo. Luckily for me, I always stand up for myself when others put me down, but it doesn't mean that they didn't affect me in any way. Any form of bullying will leave a mark in the victim's mind, no matter what the outcome is.

A very close friend of mine was attacked by a group of our classmates for his sexual orientation. Yes, a group against one person, you sure are tough now. Here's the good news, yes you guys won and beat him up, but the bad news is, none of you will ever be as successful as he is because none of you have a heart as big as his. Hope your high school tough history can help you get through life, assholes.


And to the parents, especially Asian. Grades aren't everything, why don't you teach your kids some values and morals so he/she doesn't go out tormenting and ruining some other innocent person's life?


Last but not least, to the ones who think I'm a bully. If you still haven't realized by now then I'll tell you, every single person I don't like have done something to make me feel that way about them. I just don't think they deserve my kind side and I can see through most people's fake crap. I've never picked on someone who's weak and for no apparent reason. You might not like what I have to say but I speak the truth, and pretending to be nice and sweet was so middle school. Sorry but I don't feel the need to be popular and fit in anymore. The people I despise are the kind that are simply a waste of space. So get your facts straight before you want to open your mouth, because I always make sure I do that first. Like what I said on my status once, I rather be hated for being real, than to hate myself for being fake.

*By the way, to my #1 fan who went out of her way to create a reddit account just to share my blog and hoped that people would agree with her thoughts, maybe YOU should get to know me better before you want to point fingers and judge. I really don't care what you think of me and my blog, especially because I didn't force you to read it. This is a personal space where I share my opinions and of course some of it is going to be biased. So if you really think that "this is the most disturbing blog I've ever read", then please, build up your tolerance before you come here. This is not for the faint of heart or people who are too sensitive, and I'm not the type that pretends to be the nicest and sweetest person ever so people can like me. If you can't handle it, then get the fuck out of here :]

Old vs. New Part II

Reason 2: We had AsianXO.

In the age of facebook, people can pretty much learn everything you need to know about someone through their profile, unless they refused to add you as a friend and their privacy setting blocked everything. But if you trace a few years back, there was a gem in the world wide web called AsianXO. It's a rating site where tweens (and occasionally old men who digged jailbaits) post up their pictures and have others rate them on at 0 to 10 scale. There was a top 10 of the hottest girls and boys, mostly occupied by actual attractive people, even though occasionally a few ogres end up on the chart here and there. AsianXO was a place where people revealed their true nature, best friends would give each other 0s to make their average go down, and others would beg everyone they can think of to give them 10s.

Asians started on the whole fake complimenting business before myspace even happened. I remember someone somehow discovered the super secretive stats page where you can see what score everyone gave you, and that was when all the ugly truth came out.

For example: "omg ma godsis left me a comment sayin how sexii i am buh she actualli gave me a 0 !!"
Or: "yo wdf man i thought you was ma n****, y da fuck did you give me a 0 son?! meet me in da park aftaschool 2mrw imma fuck yo ass up."

Photoshop wasn't very popular back then because most of us didn't know about torrents or just couldn't afford the software. Therefore many people mastered the art of background lighting, blurring their webcam picture to the point where you can barely see their face, or simply block their most insecure feature. I remember there was this one girl who had really pretty eyes, but her nose was forever covered by either her hand or a piece of paper where she wrote some shout-out to some random person she met on the site. Then one day I saw her in person and I totally understood why - girl had a pig nose. Most others just had a lamp shining in their face which made it nearly impossible to make out their features, thanks to their low-resolution webcams.

AsianXO, along with Xanga and Myspace, breeded a new generation of "social climbers". I recall hearing numerous stories from my friends about how a few popularity-craving individuals would randomly go up to them in the park or on the streets and asked: "OMG AREN'T YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH FROM AXO/XANGA/MYSPACE?!". These people had no shame, and they did not get the clue when they were greeted with the cold shoulder. Anyone who suffered these attacks were bombarded by friend requests once they got home, followed by comments like: "heyy it was nice meeting you today! hope to see you again soon, muah<3" Which left the victim wondering "wtf I didn't even talk to this person, why is he/she acting like they're my new best friend?"

Over time AsianXO eventually died down because people started meeting up in person and realized that pictures are deceiving. Also because it got ridiculous and people started creating AXO crews and guilds that were completely pointless. After seeing that most of its users grew out of it, AXO made a sad attempt by creating AXO2, which failed miserably. I'm not sure when did AXO disappear completely, but it was fun while it lasted it, and still fun to reminisce about.

R.I.P AsianXO.